Sunday, March 30, 2014

Happy Wives Club by Fawn Weaver {Book Review}


Happy Wives Club
One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage
by Fawn Weaver


Don't let the title of the book fool you.  It might sound cliche, but the reality is that the author, Fawn Weaver, was searching for other women like herself.  Everywhere she looked, wives complained about husbands, divorce abounded and television "reality shows" only perpetuated the lie that marriages are miserable.  She set out to find women who were happy in the marriages and wanted to stay that way.

In starting an online club from which the book gets its title, Fawn met women all over the country, and the world, who were happy in their marriage.  Eventually she got a wild idea to travel around the world and meet some of these wonderful women in person, with the goal of finding the secret to a truly great marriage. 

Along the way, Fawn met women who were widowed, women who were on a second marriage, women who struggled in their current relationship but persevered, couples who had been married many decades, and some who were in the early stages by comparison.  She learned how women and couples viewed respect, honesty and communication.  She saw how God worked in the lives of these women, and how He was working in hers to make her a happier, better wife.  She learned this on a trip around the world, seeing how different cultures all had the same core values.

I really liked the actual conversations with the wives and the husband/wife couples that revealed their life and history together, but sometimes it felt like the author's interpretation of their stories overshadowed their truths.  There was also a lot of sightseeing during the travels, which was interesting to a certain extent, but sometimes a bit too detailed, considering I was more interested in the happy wives than the traveling.  However, I still liked the premise of the book.

There were two important things I took away from this book.  The first is not to surround myself with women who speak negatively of their husbands.  One wife talked about how easy it is to fall into the temptation to "one-up" the next person with awful traits of their husband.  I specifically remember an instance where I was sitting with two women who knew each other fairly well, although I was only acquainted with each of them.  They were engaged in one of those conversations where each was trashing their husband, and I felt awkward and out of place, for two reasons.  I was basically a stranger, privy to the "problems" in their relationships, and two, because I couldn't imagine dragging my husband through the mud like that.  I don't understand the need to disrespect your spouse in that manner, to open your marriage to the parasite of gossip, to reveal your weaknesses as a couple.  If there is something in my marriage that needs addressed, then I need to pray, I need to go to my husband, and I need to work with him as a partner, not against him.

The second major point I took away from this book, is that I have a choice.  I could choose to be miserable.  Or, I can choose to be happy.  I can pray for our relationship and I can choose friends who are also happy, encouraging and uplifting.  I cannot control everything my husband does, thinks, feels or says, but I can control my response.  I can work at being a better person for him.

This book was interesting, fun, serious and full of emotion.  I would recommend this as a light read for wives or young women who are engaged. 





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