Monday, January 7, 2013

Don't Ask a Pregnant Woman...

We are in the final stretch now.  I have about two weeks until my due date, but I am very ready to hold my precious gift.  When I go out now, I get the stares, comments and questions from other women.

"You're almost there, aren't you?"

"You have to be due any day now!"

"I'm no midwife, but you look ready to pop."

Actually, I've been getting the wide-eyed sympathy look regarding my due date since October.  People would go from thinking I was DUE to that look of pure shock when they found out I had 3+ months to go.  

I don't mind genuine questions from friends and family.  I don't understand why every woman on earth finds the need to approach strangers at the store and ask them their life story.  You're only asking one pregnant person at a time, but that one pregnant person is getting asked various forms of the same questions from strangers day in and day out.  She gets tired of it.

You look like you're ready to pop!  Do you think you'll make it?
Well, I'm not sure spontaneous combustion is a form of delivery, but if it happens, I'm sure you'll hear about it on the news.

Are you sure there's just one?
I get it.  I'm big.  I'm only 5 foot nothing, so there's nowhere to go but out.  What I don't get is why people think it's okay to ask a complete stranger if they're having twins...or triplets.  Stare incredulously at my belly if you must, but I prefer you just whisper to your BFF behind my back.

Are you miserable yet?
Yes, so leave me alone.

That better be a girl in there this time!
Seriously??  I really want to get snarky and tell people I'm so disappointed with my boys.  

Are you done now?
First, it's none of your business.  Second, what if we're not?

Don't you know what causes that?
No.  No, I don't.  Please enlighten me.

Can I touch your belly?
If you have to ask a stranger to allow you to do something personal, the answer is always no.  Why put me in that awkward situation?  And please do not recommend to your little snotty-nosed, sticky-fingered child that they reach over and rub their dirty hands all over my white shirt to "feel the baby" because I'm sure you wouldn't want me, a random person in the mall, to start doing such things to you.

Okay.  Rant over.

1 comment:

  1. dearest Brittney ... reading your words catapulted me back into history of my own pregnancy's and cruel oddity that being pregnant seems to present itself to other people. I am the proud mother of four sons and yes, I even have 2 daughters. Planned? probably not. Wanted? absolutely!! ~smiles~ I home schooled as well.

    But my reason for stopping and commenting is to share with you what a Dr's wife once told me that she use to say to those seemingly uncaring persons who think that your procreation is their business. I use to say to them: "yes, and I have stopped washing our pajama's together." But once i heard her remarks, I was not only so absolutely thrilled with the shocking revelation but asked personally if i could "borrow that" to which she graciously granted.

    So ! ... the next time (if you so choose to have next time or even now after the birth of your daughter) ... if someone so boldly decides to ask you if you know what causes that? ... Simply smile, look them straight in the eye and repeat after me:

    "Why yes! Otherwise we wouldn't be quite so successful!"

    ..... the look on their face is worth a million words

    May G-d continue to richly bless you!

    mother of six,
    grandmother of one